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When she George W. Bush has stolen the clock, laughed the whole world. And I also. It showed George W. Bush, he would be among friends. Albania is probably pretty much the last bastion of Europe, where Georgia can take a bath in the crowd. What he has done during his state visit last year also cheering, shaking hands, delighted faces. And then his clock was gone.

you have it shown on TV, but I am sure that his clock has not been much worth is dried up like a Protestant, he only had a cheap alarm clock guaranteed on the wrist. Anyway, now its clock with another. And I still laugh about the story.

Yes, yes, they are just the Albanians: arm, devious, dishonest. Is not it? Is not it? Honestly now: Do you know how the Albanians are so? Not the stories you have somewhere picked up by anyone at any time and somehow familiar. And most also believe the Kosovars. I mean the Albanians. In Albania. Not in Kosovo.

you grieve not: no one really knows how the Albanians are like that. Because no one knows Albania. Not even geographically. In a spontaneous little survey, I found out that most of Albania suspect somewhere between Africa and Afghanistan. It is located in Europe. Just that no one knows. A blind spot on the map.

I got to know the Albanians, and must say they are not as easy to grasp. Because is not that easy to identify what they are interested in doing, really. For many of them contradictory acts. What perhaps may be due to their nature, how they communicate with foreigners, namely, not at all. Or very little. And that is not due to their animosity, which they are not, but because they are very reserved. Fast, so here already. A soft people that avoids directness.

Unlike us Germans. After my first reading in Tirana I spoke to a lady. She said: "Well, actually I was pretty set against it!"
I replied, "Really?! Why?
"Well, that was because of your vita."
"My Vita?"
"you have published here."
I thought frantically, what they mean by that? What stood for in my CV? Wanted for incorrect grammar, polygamy and fraudulent cattle trade? I was a little perplexed.
"Well, where you write that you ... as it was now? Well, when you write that you have studied no pain ... "
" Oh, you mean! "I reply easier. "There, is that I studied with little effort and even less success."
"Exactly!" she said. "I mean."
"And that's why you were against me?"
"Yes, I found the downright provocative. So what can you write that! "
I shrugged. ? Why not "
She shakes her head:" That can not do that "
. But it is true" you
is outraged: "Yes, but it will make it a bit"
"No, actually not "
And a little outraged". Of course, what makes your out! You can feel it! "
" no. Not really. "
you do not believe me, but she swung around and smiles: "Well, but you have read really nice."
"Thanks."
"So with the disguised voice. That was really good. "
" Thank you. It would have been even better if I had drunk with Jörg last night not even the liquor stocks. "

I have to admit that you can also put it diplomatically. An Albanian would have done anyway. Apart from the fact that he never would have started this discussion. He would have even started any discussion because he is without the gentle pressure of the university or the German center, the head of the above-mentioned Jörg, would not come.

interested in doing so, the very young people for other countries. This does still not mean that they come to a foreigner when they visited times. Except for George, of course. For he is a friend. And when they all came and cheered.

And have the same time stole his clock. Oh, I love this story.

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Tirana, Tirana


There is a house in the middle of Tirana, gray and bulky like a tower, which has no bell and no post box. No ground floor and no address. Small windows and a massive iron door. It is inhabited, but the residents never leave this house. It is not nice but it remained the only standing as Mayor Edi Rama a few years ago the many stalls and cottages at the Lana, the small stream that flows through Tirana, was torn down to restore order. Everyone knows this house, but it has no name.

architecture is such a thing in Tirana. Much of the traditional buildings is no longer there because it was replaced by ugly high-rise buildings showing that mainly the communist dictator Enver Hoxha (pronounced Hodja) had built and thus significantly contributed to Tirana blight.

Edi Rama has in the past few years has made that has improved this. Not only because he Favellas at Lana was demolished - with the exception of the tower described - but also because he returned a little trick great effect: the former artist Rama was the ugliest houses simply paint colorful.

Otherwise there is no such thing as Wild West - better still: Wilder Southeast - the Albanian construction, with some droll results. In search of land in the much sought after inner city, the construction is not very squeamish. Since land is found where one had previously even none suspected.

such as a road. Since space is nice! So why not build a house on it? What should I say you did it. And not only once. A high-rise. In the middle of a through street. The course now is a dead end. From both sides.

Also plans are more like vague statements of intent. Since a construction office manager has already been faced with a ten-story house and stares in disbelief at the approved plan, which identifies only four floors.
Ha, I can almost see the foreman in front of me, as he is a bit embarrassed at the head hurts, and say, "Well, we were just as good on it and also had some material about and, uh ..." Before

Incidentally, it was customary to bring the construction of a living victim. Nowadays, focus is on Teddy. Are in the shell on steel lattice impaled and to discourage evil spirits. If you ask me it looks more as if the evil spirits were already there.

taste perversion, however, is the largest in the city center and goes back to Hoxha's account: a pyramid. She would become his mausoleum. You measure the damage to the roof of dictators in their relics, it is abundantly clear here, with whom it had to do the Albanians four decades: a megalomaniac crackpot. Paranoid to the small country because it has some 600,000 bunkers can pave. At strategic locations, of course. What does this mean for Albania: every few meters.

That leaves the gray house on Lana. The Vendetta House. Because there are sitting on death row. Not by the state but by warring clans. As long as they remain in this house, they may live. Get out of it but ... Life sentence of another kind The house is part of Albanian culture, stands in the center of Tirana in front of everyone and yet it stands alone. Isolated. If you Albanians asked about them shrug their shoulders: no one knows about it accurately. And it does not interest them too. Yet it is there. A mutated into stone anachronism.

I wonder how it looks in the house? How many may live in it? And how do they deal with each other when they live there, door to door? Maybe they get on well together. A common Fate welds people together often. Maybe they will even become friends over the years. While her family members out there still hate. Insurmountable hatred.

And not even Edi Rama can gloss over the color.

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Oops! Kisses.


Sometimes one wonders, must serve out the reasons why the occupants in the house Vendetta their sentences. Learning is often murder, yet the reasons that lead to, are usually less important in the eyes of a West European hard enough to understand: defamation.

But what kind of defamation? Albania is a multiethnic state religion: Muslims, Catholics, Orthodox and a number of splinter groups. But in Albania when referring to the great religions tolerance. Anyone with everyone and does it well. The faithful live peacefully together.

What would we have on offer in traditional defamation? Correct: blasphemous conduct. Too bad. Albanians go basically from you. In Tirana there is a pub, bar, cafe and density, as is perhaps more common in Cologne. In any case, is unparalleled. And although there is 40 percent unemployment in the country, invest some money for the Albanians her a coffee or a drink at the bar

In stark contrast to us Germans, where unemployment in regularity of the self-imposed isolation in front of the TV leads. As if one without work would no longer socially acceptable. It is smoked and drank alcohol. Good reasons to chalk someone made a terrible lifestyle. Is not done. Otherwise they would have many, many Vendetta build houses on the Lana.

happy to put a female innocence. Rather, the loss of the same droplet. And even if only as a horror scenario of jealous men. But even here, rather non-existent. The Albanian Youth is very attractive and shows that too. The clothing for girls in particular is scarce, damn close, I would say almost obligatory high heels. The young people meet be relaxed in the mutual pleasure.

But there are conventions: public affection can not see. And there are bars for married couples, where there are cozy rooms where the light is dim and where to Oops! can kiss. So there: chaste innocence in tight top?

could do mine. because last week would not have been this accident. It's got the head of a private television station. Got a new Ferrari for a ride.

is now the very unfortunate, but still no message that has attracted attention Albanians. It seemed more likely that his girlfriend was sitting next to him. Naked. Now one knows the Italian so with cars: safe is the air conditioning failed and in a narrow car like a Ferrari can there ever be warm. Good reasons to take off a little something. You do not want to sweat through the expensive clothes.

Shortly after the brakes have to be down. And thus ended the trip on a tree at the Lana. They were then found, what has made in Tirana for a scandal, after the man was married. But when the Albanians so in the faces look when they talk about the accident, one always sees a smile. Not schadenfreude, more of a giggle over a number - we prefer the personal drama at times - certainly has comic potential.

What drives the man on Ferrari? Even the Americans scoff at Fiat said it would be an abbreviation for: Fix It Again Tony. Of all the Americans. As if the cars could build.

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white chicken, black chicken


Albanians are idiosyncratic. More than 400 years, the Ottomans occupied the country, was still not much back from them. And not just because Hoxha was demolished everything. In the minds there was nothing. They are above all what they have always been: Albanians.

you are interested first and foremost for themselves, but are not nationalistic. They are proud of their past, but if you want to know something about it, you better ask a foreigner because the Albanians do not even go very carefully with their history.

Even their language sounds idiosyncratic. I tried to impress me something, but I have not done much. Actually only: O Cuni (pronounced dschuni) means something like: Hey, boy! You say when you called here a (young) waiter. Joerg says the Albanians get along with relatively few words. As a foreigner, I can tell, but there is one thing that has made me a bit stunned.

Albania is now indeed a distinct coastal state, but they did not have a word for seagull. Since the official founding of the Reich would have over 700 years ago have actually lost one or the other gull to Albania. In any case, enough time to give it a name. But somehow, the Albanians did not attempt it.

I imagine how the first Albanians were sitting on the coast and watched the gulls sailing. And perhaps one has said, "Oh, what a pretty bird!"
"Hm"
"We should give him a name."
"Hm"
break.
you see the seagulls and think about a name. Suddenly one says: "Looks like a white chicken."
"Hm"
break.
then turns around and the clan chief asks: "Who is for white chicken"

Since then, they are called white chickens. And their wings are called arms. I just wonder what if would have been the American novelist Richard Bach an Albanian? How, then, his most famous book would have been: The white chicken Jonathan? Amusing thought. A chicken, which crashed in ambitious record hunting in a nosedive into the sea ...

Are they like the Albanians? More practical bent? Not to say: lethargic? But some were speaking. They produce nothing themselves, can import everything. This too is reason for the dramatic unemployment. It is as if they would not dare, to develop their own products and bring it to market. Or they may simply not feel? Are they on their way to Europe, but are waiting for a taxi that brings them there?

then how do you like this story. A true to it. The Albanians were probably the only nation that has refused to extradite Jews in Nazi Germany. They found that simply indecent. So they have not done it. This leaves the tearful drivel of the ancients, the deportations to have actually had no liability because the danger was so great for one's life, show them in a different light. Was the threat to the Albanians is not the same as everyone else?

A fluke? No. About ten years ago the former President Berisha has ruined his people with a pyramid scheme. And by that I mean, all ruined. There was - quite contrary to the other Albanian mentality - riots, after which Berisha gave the military command to fire on the people. The military, however, refused

the command. If you have owned before? A military who refuses an order to shoot? Never refuse military orders to shoot, but always taken responsibility for it. An impressive people. If it matters, if it is really important to make the right decisions. Although ... they have re-elected Berisha. He is already president. Not to grasp.

War because no one else there? Or is it the same as with the seagull? You'd have to invent something new to arrange things. It could of course also remain the same.

If so, then I would know the name of their president: black chicken. So, just a thought.

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Cuni O!


fixed lines are not very popular in Albania. Everyone has a cell phone. Even the poorest have one. At least one. That did not do just so that they go out much, the Albanians, but as so often, especially for practical reasons not feel like getting stuck in an elevator and then there is no one a help, because there is no panic buttons.

Now it so that elevators be built in Albania no worse than in Germany. Only that they - as all elevators - are powered by electricity. And is switched off in Albania neighborhood way. Most of hours. Jörg suggested that there is a secret list of the district to be shut down, and that quarter is to be shut down less frequently. Especially where politicians live. But basically, it hits everybody. And when you sit in the elevator, you have to laugh about.

This is one of the peculiarities of this country, that one must live. Another is the traffic. Two things fall on. First, there is a striking variety of Mercedes Benz. I would guess: every third car. Joerg says five years ago it was even 90 percent of all cars. How does that fit only to the high unemployment and poverty, especially in the countryside?

The new, very expensive Mercedes can be explained either Mafia or large families. The many others, when you realize for the first time the Albanian mentality. And that means most mechanics can only Mercedes. And if there is no one can repair the one Ford or a Nissan, then you just bought a Mercedes. If you like, you can find the principle gull everywhere.

Second, cars are at a Intersection will turn and basically turn off all at once. Is agreed then the apex of the curve. This also saves a traffic regulations. Funny enough, this happens almost never accidents, because everyone pays attention to the others and is not to turn out to be the first. But since no one is sure to turn first, one wonders why they do it all at once ... But what the heck, you do not understand everything.

At the University of Elbasan I met a young man who looks like a friendly partisan and Gerd means. A German name in stark contrast to the dark skin and wavy jet-black hair. I ask Jörg whether he has German ancestors? He shakes his head and smiles: "Gerd Muller was here in the 70s very popular. The Albanians are crazy about football. It is called here a couple of children who Briegel "

Oh, God. Hans-Peter Briegel. Or as we say football professionals: the roll out of the Palatinate. The coach was here. The poor pig that must now bear his name! I just hope it's not a girl ...

But what are the Albanians then? If you are religious but not fundamentalist. They are shy but confident. They love America, but stealing from their presidents. They are modern, but there is also this Vendettahaus. They are proud, but not nationalistic. You have a crook as president, but meet when it counts, the right decisions. The houses have fallen, but the toilets in every little dive almost meticulously clean and well maintained.

I bought a T-shirt with the emblem of the Albanians: a double-headed eagle. I'm sure I'll be and when approached it, because you will consider me a fan Eintracht Frankfurt. But then I'll say: "O Cuni, which is not Frankfurt. This is Albania! "